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YOUR CART

Blog

4/27/2026 0 Comments

Borderline Personality

Vulnerable-Child Mode
*Experience feelings of:  Abandonment, anxiety, mistrust, loneliness.  
*FYI:  When vulnerable child feels rejected or thwarted = switch to Angry or Impulsive Child Mode
*RX: support & comfort 

Angry-Child or Impulsive-Child Mode
*Experience angry outbursts, Impulsive behavior.
*Internalized negative beliefs triggered by Reactions of Others.  
*FYI:  Followed by Punitive Parent Mode because Self-Loathing is activated.
*RX:  Help find adequate ways to deal with anger and frustration

Punitive-Parent Mode 
 
*Self-devaluation, self-hatred, self-punishment
*FYI:  When this becomes overwhelming, followed by Detached Protector Mode
*RX:  Fight the negatives

Detached-Protector Mode
*Used to reduce emotional pain, avoid close relationships & intense emotions.  
*Shows up as:  Dissociation, Distraction, Substance Abuse, Binge Eating, Self-Injury, and Isolation in order to cope.
*RX:  Reassure, Safety, review pro’s and con’s of coping choices, replace with healthy strategies.

Healthy-Adult Mode
*Aware of needs, choices, solves problems, creates healthy relationships.  
*Action are in Congruence with Values, Needs, & Goals.  Restore joy, fun, play, safety.
*RX:  Strengthen healthy modes 

Handout by L.Mehnert

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    Lo Mehnert Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

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